Monday, 28 April 2014

Luna 5 Months

This is so late! We just got back from holiday. Luna loved all the time we spent outside in Cornwall and her hair grew loads in the sunshine! She got to hang out with her cousins and smiled and grinned her way through the meeting of a lot of relatives. She is such a good natured baby. I have been reading the baby book my Mum did for me and it says that I was just like this, always smiling and laughing. Hopefully she won't take after my nature at 16 years old too ;)

I have been thinking a lot about life and death and motherhood since the passing of Peaches Geldof and another Mother close to my family. How can you cope without your Mother in the world? What a horrific tragedy when a Mother and child are separated. I was thinking about this a lot whilst driving above the speed limit back from Cornwall! My life is different now because there is a reason for me to be alive other than my own desire to live. Now someone needs me to look after them. How awful that Peaches' boys won't know her, won't even remember her and she adored them. I followed her on instagram and saw pictures of those boys everyday and the love she had for them was so obvious and clear. She lived for them and had found her purpose in life so why did she die? I can't believe that it was by choice. It's a tragedy and I can't imagine it ever not being a tragedy when this Mother / child link is broken, especially but not always at their age. Death is so final, so unfair. It has been good for me in the sense that it makes me want to live, really live and be present in every moment and to enjoy life, to look on the bright side, to appreciate what I have and focus on what I want, positively and feel real joy as deeply and as often as possible. But it has also been a wake up call - I have to cross the road at the traffic lights! I can't drive at 100MPH on the motorway, I am always on duty and I have to look after my health. It wouldn't be fair to deny Luna of my existence. It's isn't really about me. 

Anyway sorry heavy stuff but it's been on my mind and it's good to write it down. 

In other news Luna has learnt to roll over from front to back now as well as the other way, seems to want to stand the whole time, loves splashing like a crazy person in the bath, has sucked on a cucumber (ooh la la) a cougette, eaten some mashed up avocado and banana (didn't go down well, wretched, gagged and pushed it out with her tongue) some pureed carrot and potato (went down better!) and is now going to bed about 9 and sleeping until 5.30/6 more often than not. Although we had a pretty bad sleep regression just after 4 months when she was waking up at night all the time. This lasted about 2 weeks and we were so grateful when it went back to normal. Sleep deprivation is definitely a form of torture!! She weighed 18.3lbs last time I weighed her. Little chubster. 
Oh, these are such happy days!

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